1:25

Trevor and I watched Saw II today. It was pretty enjoyable and pretty twisted. I enjoyed it, and it was a lot better acted than the original, which is more or less a comedy in my book.

The big event was Matt Good in concert, though.

Hours later I am tired, sore and deaf, but it was all worth it. Especially after hearing a terrific version of Advertising on police cars, not to mention 21st century living. Best guitar work ever.

Also, a pretty good opening act as well, so I can't complain, except for maybe the weird drunken (I think) girl that kept trying to converse with Trevor and I while we were in line.

Never talk to strangers, kids. They'll go on and on about dumb shit.

Now I'm going to bed. Goodnight moon.

Fear.

I've been playing the PC game F.E.A.R.

It's goddamn creepy. Basically, it's about some sort of elite squad trying to track down some cannibal/vampire/freaky guy. I've only played about an hour and a half, so I'm not sure of much more.

I'm amazed at how many times it has made me jump. There is this creepy little girl who shows up at the scariest times. Sometimes she'll just laugh and sprint across the screen and other times you'll see her shadow cast on the wall...but then you turn around and she's gone...I don't get it...But my god does it make me jump. You also often catch glimpses of other very...Weird things. They like to play a lot of tricks on you.

Add to that some very weird flashback/dream scenes as well as some incredibly intense gunfights and you've got one hell of a scary time. I love it, but I have to play it in short bursts or my head would explode.

I love scary games, and I think in a time where movies don't seem to do it for me anymore, they are becoming even cooler.

Nothing.

Well, I've got myself a few extra days off work. Actually, something like five days, I guess. I don't know.

I feel I really need them though. I slept over 13 hours last night, and I think I'll be doing it again tonight.

So it's sleep + video games + writing for the next little while...And there is nothing else in the world I'd rather be doing.

Matt Good on Sunday, though. I'm getting pretty excited again. I really, really hate concerts and the idea of standing amongst several hundred drunken people is making me doubt it again... but really, in the end it's completely worth it. It has been every other time, anyway.

There are very few bands who could actually get me to go and see them live. Matthew Good is one of them...Probably the only one who would ever come to Edmonton, so I think I'm safe.

I am so much more me that you are perfectly you.

Today has been a weird one.

My mind has been wondering like crazy. I've been "up" and happy to be alive to completely down and wishing I had a time machine to go backwards all within a few minutes...30 times over.

Everything just feels so dreamy. I keep having these "moments" that I cannot describe. My feelings are all over the map.

This might be what it is like to go legitimately crazy. I don't know. I can't really explain it any better than I already have.

I've seen a few news stories lately about how large one of the lotteries is going to be around here, it was some obscene amount...40 million I believe.
People were going on and on about how there were going to be lineups everywhere because everyone and their grandma will be buying tickets.

All I could do is sit back and think. There are places in this country...And really, the entire world where 40 million dollars would make all the difference for people and families who have nothing...And yet people who can afford to gamble on a chance for a slice of the pie are going to end up winning this disgusting amount.

I eventually said to myself "how sick" and I think it really is.

Do I blame people for wanting to be rich? Absolutely not. It's the whole idea of it all that sickens me.
I swear if I ever won some huge sum of money like that a whole shitload would be given away in an instant, yes, to people I know and care about...But even more than that.

Everybody wants to have the things the want, I'm no different...But there are people in this world who don't even have the things they need...

I'm not saying it would make any huge difference to anybody, I'm just saying I've no need for 40 million dollars.

Not in this lifetime...Not in any.

And that, my friends, has been the only real put together thought I've had all day.

Not that I mind it, really...

"Did you say you were on Mescaline?". "I did indeed. Very much so."

I've decided The Royal Tenebaums is one of my favourite movies of all time. It's fucking hilarious and very touching at the same time. Sure, some people absolutely do not "get it", but I think that is due to the type of humor more than the quality of the film.

Nobody in the world makes films like Wes Anderson, and I love the guy for it. He's a fucking genius.

In other news my face is itchy. I'm trying to not shave until Christmas. Why? I'm not quite sure.
Maybe I just don't give a shit.

I challenged Ryan to see who could go the longest with out shaving the other day. But I figure he's too much of a pretty boy to take me up on it.

It's kind of easy for me, I can't grow a real beard, I just end up looking real shaggy and possibly like a homeless fellow might.
Also, I can go a few weeks without shaving and people really wouldn't be able to notice, as the hair is real light at first.

Now it's actually got some length to it, so it's itchy as hell, though.

I say we all have a beard off, the last person standing is the champion of the universe.

Now then.

I've been having some real odd feelings lately.

While I'm laying in bed, I keep having the feeling that the earth is about to drop out from under me and my bed is going to be falling through the sky.
It's a very, very strange sensation, sort of like falling down real quickly or something, where you feel your heart sort of do that weird thing it does... It takes me a while to convince myself that nothing is going to happen.

And then there is my awake time....

I keep thinking of dying or hurting myself. Sort of like imagining it, I guess. For instance, I was in the shower and thought about slipping and crashing through the glass and creating a very bloody mess.

Or I'll be working, you know, cutting something with my utility knife and think to myself "what if....?" and so on. It's kind of terrible and has been making it hard for me to focus for a while now.

I'm not trying to sound suicidal or fucked up in the head, because I'm not. I can't be. I'm just saying it's a real thing that has been bothering me.

It is becoming less frequent I think...And anyway, I think it's just me having a morbid sense of curiosity more than anything...

After a night like that, it goes something like this.

I had the best night at work last night. Everything went perfectly.

I think it's because of the people I work with.

I work with some very, very competent people, and I think that's why I love my job.

They are all so hard working, nice and VERY dependable people. They really know how to make the "team" aspect of it all work.

Oh...Wait...What's that? Do you taste it?

that's SARCASM, my friends. In the strongest possible sense.

fucking cunts.

Potemkin city limits

I got my hands on the new Propagandhi CD yesterday. I pre-ordered it from their record company and they sent them out early. (its real release is October 18th)

I've been waiting nearly 5 years for some new stuff from these guys, so I was pretty excited.

After my first listen to a few songs, I came to the conclusion that it was good, but not really great....

however, at work last night I listened to it twice, all the way through...Back to back.

And it's fucking awesome.

A mixture of some of the best and meaningful songwriting I've ever heard as well as some insane face melting guitar riffs.

I'm not going to be one of those people who posts song lyrics every other entry, but just read this:

"The following views expressed do not necessarily reflect those of the prevailing order, who prostrate to their naked kings, tailor the seams of funeral shrouds on foreign shores, but shed no tears for the dead of the endless list of informal wars- the justification for will be spelled out coming soon to a screen near you.
I'm feeling less hopeful and so much less human as my days are reduced to settling for revenge and wondering whatever happened to the kid that pledged "first do no harm"? Chalk it up to an overdeveloped sense of unbridled vengeance.
Somebody fed me too much New Hope for breakfast, cuz as the empire preemptively strikes back (again) and the voice of Luke's father baritones "this is CNN", I recall Arab kids slaughtered, reduced to "sand-niggers" and "rag-heads." And now I'm expected to mourn dead Americans? The executioner's willing citizens? I'm so sorry and I'm trying to think it though, but when the chickens come home to roost and hand-delivered matching funeral urns to the bully that never learns I could've swore I heard a chorus rise and fall wishing them so many more unhappy returns.
But in every war waged, only kings emerge unscathed."

- from the song "name and address withheld"

Most songs I've heard are not written like this, and every single song on the disc strikes me as incredible in some way. To think they can pack that much into a 3 or 4 minute song is just incredible, which is probably why it took me a few listens to discover the brilliance and emotion.

This is one of the most powerful albums I've ever listened to.

It also tends to either fill me with a rage or complete sadness to the situation and the world we live in.

I guess that is the point, I think it's why these guys do what they do.

Buy it.

Fuck I love movies.

I watched Oldboy yesterday. It is a Korean film about a guy who gets locked up for 15 years and has no idea why...And then one day he is released and goes on a quest for knowledge and revenge.

It was pretty cool, lots of interesting plot twists and tons of style.

There is this one fight scene in a long hallway that is done all in one take. Fucking awesome, I love shit like that. As a director, I think that is the best way to show some skill and originality, as opposed to editing tons of takes together to form a scene...which is the way it is generally done, sadly.

I also find it strange that I actually notice and enjoy things like that, but I cannot help it. It's just cool (though I had to research and see if I was right.)

I also watched It's all gone Pete Tong.

It is directed by the same guy that did Fubar (which is one awesome movie) so I knew it was going to be good...And it was. The guys from Fubar even make an appearance...I can't help but laugh everytime I see them.

Anyway it is about a DJ who goes deaf after years of mixing and heavy drug use and tries to make a comeback. It's both hilarious (the first half of the film) and genuinely touching for the last half.

Absolutely recommended.

So yeah, I fucking love movies. I think I'd have gotten a little too tired of life by now if they never existed.

That is all.

Hearts will bleed.

I FINALLY got to see High Tension.

You might remember me blogging about it way back when, pissed off because it never showed up at theaters around here...

It came out on DVD today and I just finished it.

Fucking awesome.

If you're a gore hound like me, you'll love this. It even made me wince at the things I was seeing. It's been called the best horror film in years by a lot of people, and I think I might have to agree.

It's not so much scary as it is absolutely intense. Which I really dig.

Hollywood can keep remaking old movies if they want (and making them crappy) , so long as French films continue to turn out quality stuff like this.

Sure, the movie might suffer from some of those horror cliches...But I don't care, it was fucking cool and bloody and that's all I wanted.

I can't decide whether I liked the ending or not, but the whole thing came together nicely so I can't complain.

It was beautifully shot, too...Which I guess is an odd thing to say when buckets of blood are flying everywhere...But still.

I'm keeping my eyes on that director.

I wonder if this is actually the uncut version. It's unrated, but if I recall correctly people were saying the completely uncut version would never be seen by people, so it makes me wonder. I'm also not sure why there are three versions on the DVD, I watched the "original French directors cut" though, I'll have to see if there are any differences between this, the "US theatre version" and the "US dubbed version"

Worth the wait, and worth seeing, I'd say.

Live it out.

I watched the film Lightning Bug last night.

I could basically sum it up by saying it's about a teenager with an odd hobby and a fucked up life. I don't feel like writing a review.

It's a film for anyone who has ever thought to themselves "I've gotta get out of this place and away from these people" it's got some very emotional scenes.

Worth seeing.

I'm listening to the new Metric album right now. It's good, but so far it doesn't seem as good as their previous work. I'm only on song 4 though, so we'll see.

I've got a headache again. I want to sleep, but I'm going to try and hold out.

It is October 3rd, now.

Yesterday, as I was brushing my teeth and getting ready for bed, my nose started pouring blood like a waterfall.

I let it drip, drip, drip into the sink for a few seconds before I did anything. It looked rather messy but cool.

Thing is, I'm no stranger to nosebleeds. Every single winter, as the weather starts to get colder my nose feels the need to bleed pretty often. I guess because of the dryness...Sometimes it doesn't take much to start it in motion.

It didn't last for that long, but sometimes it's absolutely terrible. I remember a few years ago during Christmas at my Grandma's, it bled for over an hour. I'm talking a constant flow of the red stuff. Pretty gross, very annoying, too.

I guess it doesn't really help that I sleep with a fan blowing cold air on me, either. I can't help it. I don't even particularly care for the cool air...I just need the noise. I cannot sleep without it. I've tried many times.

My family thinks I'm crazy.

White noise, they call it. God bless you, white noise.

Fuck you, bloody noses.

PS. I renewed the Nintopia domain today. It will be our anniversary tomorrow. Trevor, let's say you and I go get ripped to celebrate.

That...Or...Get the fuck to work on the new layout, you lazy bastard you.

It is October 2nd.

My dad and I went to look at some cars today.

We browsed several dealers. I was slightly interested in a Pontiac Pursuit, which is a cheap, supposedly very good car. Not interested enough to ask about it, but it's worth researching more.

I did get a quote and all on a fully loaded Ford Focus ZX3, it worked out to about $350 a month, maybe more, we didn't finish the entire deal.

I realized I dislike car salesmen a lot. I can't count the number of times the guy (George!) said "if I give you a price you like, will you buy this car today?" or "you're the boss here, just tell me what you want" or other variations.

oh yeah and "I've been doing this for 10 years, Dan, I'm just going to be honest with you here...."

So pushy, yet so friendly...It's annoying.

I know it's their life and job and how they make a living...But man oh man that shit gets to me after a while.

Anyway, I was close to signing a deal, but I decided to check out how much It'd cost for insurance/check out other options, etc.

He kinda tried his best to make me feel rushed, but honestly I'm not.

I've gotta figure out if I can afford payments + higher insurance + my new computer payments and everything in between (movies and games!)

not to mention I want the fuck out of this house eventually, so...yeah, you know. It's a big decision.

Maybe I'll end up just getting something used. Newer, but used...just save up the cash. Who knows.