I Think I Blew It (Again)

I woke up last night with a terrible sore throat...Like real sore, kids. My right eye is also red/bloodshot still. Been like that for a few days. It is getting better, I think, but the throat is killing me.

My mom says strep throat can fuck up your eyes some how, and so if it doesn't feel better tomorrow I might go get it checked out (the throat, not the eye). Then again what does she know.

Anyway. It got me to thinking.

I cannot remember the last time I felt 100% healthy...Or even CLOSE to 100% healthy, and I mean this very seriously.

I feel like crap on a regular basis.

Aside from always being tired on account of night shift work, there is always at least one other thing fucking NAGGING the hell out of me, and I hate it. Whether it be as simple as some sort of fucked up cough or worse.

Speaking of being tired. I hate how nobody understands what it's like to have your sleep patterns completely fucking reversed. It's impossible for me to "suck it up" or "Get over it" when I say that I'm tired, believe me.

It's the same as when my mom looks at me and asks "how come?" after I tell her I'm going to sleep at 8PM on my days off.

It's because I'm fucking tired. I don't get what more there is to understand.

And so I always get a bit irritated when people tell me how tired they are because they had a 4 or 5 hour sleep the night before...One night... Not to be a cunt, but try doing what I Did for 4 fucking years and see how you feel on a regular basis. It's not great, believe me.

Anyway, RANT OVER.

...Back to feeling like crap...

I have this sort of idea in my head that a "cure" of sorts would entail me taking a trip somewhere. Breathing different air, sleeping in a different bed in a different room and so on.

I wouldn't even need to go far...Just something different enough to feel the change, I guess.

I recall feeling a lot different/better when I was camping last time, perhaps that is where the idea comes from.

Over and out.

I heart Encores.

Well, I just got back from seeing my hero play an acoustic solo show with Trevor.


Possibly the best concert I have ever been to. Firstly, because the atmosphere was so different. I wasn't standing in some stupid club/bar. No, I was sitting in a decent theater with a great view of the stage. It was awesome. No drunks or rowdy folks, just people wanting to enjoy some music.

I love his acoustic work, but I was curious how an entire concert might play out, turns out it was an hour and a half of pure awesomeness. Seriously.

Fated, So long Mrs. Smith, Hopeless, Can't get shot in the back if you don't run AND Prime Time deliverance = FUCKKKKKK YEAHHHHHH.

Among other awesome stuff. Seriously, the guy's a machine, he just kept playing (in between banter) it was a great time.

Also snapped a few pics as you can see. Most of them turned out a little too blurry for my liking, but some of them were decent.

Got a few video clips too, but I'm far too lazy to upload those at the moment.

G for GREAT.

Here's my one word review of V for Vendetta:

Phenomenal.

Okay. I can't just leave it at that...it was far too awesome. I think it's a story anybody with an imagination and perhaps a problem with the world would love.

Every second of the movie had me drawn in, which is actually pretty incredible. I was very surprised.

The end fight/scenes are some of the coolest ever, same with the Domino bit.

One of the best films I've seen in a long time, and certainly one of my favourites of all time, now.

GOODNIGHT MOON.

But they'll never take our.....FREEEEEEEEDOM!

So no iPods or any other personal music whatnots are allowed at work anymore.

Can you guess how happy this makes me? Hearing my music in my ears as opposed to the voices of the fucking douche bags I work with was pretty much the only thing keeping me sane.

Now I have to listen to the same 20 fucking songs over and over. Sure there's a stereo, but the people I work with seem to like playing the same burned CD's over and over and over and over, all of which share the same songs, it seems.

It's like they are all brain dead, I swear to Christ. I can deal with crappy music, I just can't deal with the same crappy crap repeated day after fucking day.

I don't know how much longer I can deal with it.

And I'm not joking. It bugs the fuck out of me.

Staying slightly on topic. I was thinking about how much I love music the other day.

Back in junior high I really didn't care for it. I mean, I liked it well enough, but I had no favourites or specific tastes. I didn't even own a CD.

Until the day I saw the video for "Everything is Automatic" by the Matthew Good Band. The very next day I purchased all the albums I could by those fellows, and the rest is history.

Matthew Good, in a lot of ways, is pretty much the reason I like music, as odd as that sounds, and so it's no wonder I hold him, and anything he's ever written in high regard.

Over the years my tastes expanded...And yet refined a whole lot. I like a lot of different sounding bands and music...It's just that I also know what I like and what I don't like, so I sometimes come off as a prick. But I don't care.

I feel strongly about the music I love as well as the music I hate.

It's not all that uncommon to hear people say that a certain band means a lot to them, or that perhaps they even saved their lives in some way.
Years ago I'd have rolled my eyes at such statements...But today, it's something I understand all too well.

And so every so often it hits me just how powerful and important a lot of it is to me.

It can evoke memories of the smallest most trivial things that you would probably have forgotten otherwise, or it can bring you back to a moment in which your life changed somehow... It can even fill your mind with places you've never been or things you've never experienced.

It can literally bring me to tears because of this.

I know not everyone listens and understands music in that way, there are those that simply tap their feet to whatever catchy beat they hear on the radio and think nothing of it, and we all do that...But so often it's so much more to me.

I think most of the people that actually read this blog might feel the same.

incredible stuff.

So it's easy to see just how much worse and hard to deal with my workplace just got.

When mutants attack!

Me and the boys saw The hills have eyes tonight.

You know earlier I was tempted to bitch about how horror remakes can suck my dick, but this one...This one was awesome. Dare I say it? Better than the original (which is either a love or hate film)

That's right folks, I enjoyed the Christ out of it.

You get that sort of hour long build up like in a lot of older horror movies, and I love it, because once the shit hits the fan, it's pretty much an intense ride right to the end.

I guess I had high hopes when it was first announced, afterall, it was directed by the same brilliant, twisted bastard that gave us High Tension. God bless the French.

Another cool part was the soundtrack, which is basically the original re-done to sound even more badass and creepy.

I think I said to myself on more than one occasion "this is the best movie I've ever seen". It's not, of course, but it's the best I've seen in a while and I love it for being so visceral and not holding back. In the age of the "pg" rated horror films and shitty remakes, this is a fucking gem. A work of bloody (literally) art.

PS. Never fuck with a cell phone salesman.

From The Vapor Of Gasoline

I have nothing of importance to talk about right now, so I'll just carry on.

I don't think I can call Mr. Beast my favourite Mogwai album, it's hard to compete with Happy songs for happy people, young team or even ten rapid. There is just so much awesomeness there, it's amazing.

Though I wouldn't call it my least favourite either...Even though my least favourite Mogwai album would still be thousands better than most shite out there these days. I'm not even kidding.

Speaking of Mogwai the songs "stop coming to my house" and "I know you are but what am I?" are some of the most beautiful ever. Especially the first one, even when it starts to get all loud and noisy, it's still beautiful. That, my friends, is the magic of Mogwai.

In other news:


and it only took me...



...Which might look like a lot, and is, but when you gauge it based on how long I've actually owned the game, it isn't so bad.
I basically play a few hours every morning after I get home from work, it's how I wind down I guess, so it's not too bad.

That's the maximum player level at the moment, but there is still plenty to do...The game is so huge, still, it feels nice.

Over and out.

I've never been more tired in my life.

Tonight I finally got to see Nochnoi Dozor (Night watch). It's been delayed so many times...And then it finally came out, in a limited release.

So Trevor navigated the mean streets of Edmonton to some independent theater (cool place) which is the only place playing it around these parts, it seems.

The movie is basically about the forces of the night fighting each other, the dark others vs. The light (the night watch) You get vampires, witches, shapeshifters and more. It seems the dark side are mostly vampires though.

The action was pretty cool, but I admit the plot was sometimes hard to grasp immediately, this is not a bad thing, it just requires a brain and some time to think it over after watching it.

For a movie coming from Russia with a modest budget, it had some awesome special effects and camera work, too.

I guess it would be easy to think of this as a underworld ripoff or something, but it's far more original and imaginative than Underworld could ever hope to be, and for that I love it.

Worth the wait, and since it's part of a trilogy, I hope to hell the others don't take this long to be released over here.

Time to pass out.

Goodnight moon.

Mr. Beast

So the new Mogwai CD came out today...I've been waiting for this since the day I finally had their other 11 albums in my possession (so, a long time)

Unlike most people, I actually went out of my way to avoid listening to previews/leaked songs...Cause I'm weird like that.

And now the awesomeness of it is hitting me in the chest like a fucking brick. The opening track, Auto rock, is the most poweful thing ever, I swear.

Fucking brilliant.

I can't say whether I like it best or not, because I'm still listening, and I'm still taking it in.

I love music.

"you got Hemophage blood on me....it's on"

Trevor and I saw Ultraviolet. tonight.

This film is proof that if you make a movie starring a beautiful woman wearing super low (and tight) pants who kicks tons of ass with a sword, I will watch it.

It just doesn't necessarily mean I will like it.

It was average, I guess. One of those movies that relies to heavily on CGI/green screen stuff. A lot of the backgrounds were fake, much like, say, Sin City, but they just didn't mesh well enough, the whole film also had that sort of "soft focus" look... Like there was oil smeared on the screen or something.

Entertaining enough as a sci-fi action film, but nothing special.

Come on down.

I need a new job.

I know this because, save for a select few people, I want to scalp my co-workers alive. The mere sight or sound of a great deal of them pisses me off.

Which is fine, I never started working there to make friends or be in touch with them. I do my best to be civil with them, but even that is eating me up inside. I want to cut their heads off and play soccer with them.

and hey, maybe that makes me the prick. Maybe that makes me the scumbag who has no patience for stupidity and laziness and a complete lack of work ethic (tell me, how many jobs do you know where the people can get drunk/high out in the parking lot, I'd like to know) I don't care if I'm the prick. I can deal with it, and no, I'm not the ideal worker, but it's not rocket science, and I do more than what is required of me on a regular basis.

oh, but that's just part of it.

I am just so sick of the place, of the work...Of everything about it. Sometimes I feel I should just stay there because I owe them something...For some reason, or like I have to because I might be letting some people down...Today I realized I don't give a FUCK about a goddamn thing concerning the place. Not one thing. Not one person.

I have nothing to prove and over the next few months I am going to start looking for an out, because this is not what I want to be doing anymore, and not ever again.

And it's not easy for me to know what I want to do with myself. It never has been, so if it takes a while to figure it, then so be it, but it's going to happen simply because it has to.

Sometimes these feelings simply fade away and I adopt the "who cares attitude" It could happen again, but I hope it doesn't.

I really have no problem going to work all pissed off, it's a great motivator and I reckon it will grant me reason enough to give some folks a piece of my mind one of these days.

That, or, watch your newspaper for a story about a guy who killed his coworkers and burned the place to the ground.

Could be on the front page, even.

Here's hoping.

I'm avoiding the issues.

Lately I've been wondering/thinking how cool it would be if my life had a soundtrack.

I came about this thought after realizing how much an awesome soundtrack really adds to a film (It adds a whole fucking lot, by the way)

Some bitchin' tunes could start playing whenever I'm mad. Man oh man it'd pump me up. Several people would get punched in the face within a day, for sure. I might even cut some heads off.

There could also be some sad orchestrated bits whenever I'm feeling uneasy, also whenever I wake up. I guess this might just depress me even more, but that's the point of soundtracks isn't it? To add to the feeling, mood and overall atmosphere.

It would be cool to have a soundtrack.

At any rate, here is a picture of Avril Lavigne (quiet, Stephanie) in a Hooters "uniform":



D likes short shorts.