For Emily.

Dear Emily,

I’ve done something very stupid. I’ve let the darkest things in this world get their hands around my neck and choke the life out of me. Enough was enough and I had to do something.

Emily, you know exactly what I’m speaking about. I know you do.

Imagine if you can, Emily, three balls of tightly wound yarn sitting precariously at the top of a very large staircase. Can you do that?

Imagine, now that each ball of yarn represents something. The first is your current life, probably held together the loosest of the three. Imagine the second ball of yarn representing the life you wish you had. Emily, I imagine this ball would be quite large in the case of people like you and I.

Wrap your smart head around the fact that the third ball of yarn represents the lives of the people you know. Friends, family and even co-workers.

Now, Emily, imagine a split second containing perhaps the smallest action ever, that sends those three balls of yarn careening over the edge of the first step and then down, down, down.

Imagine, Emily, the way it must feel to look down and see the tangled mess of string you just created, how It feels to be grasping at them, trying to sort of what is what and where it belongs.

It’s only been a few hours since I set those balls of yarn rolling and I am lost completely. I feel perhaps it was a mistake, but maybe a necessary one.

I know what you’re thinking, Emily, and I can tell you that you’re only half right.

It wasn’t blind rage or frustration. You know me better than that. Or at least you always claimed to.

No.

Imagine my surprise, Emily, that while all of this was happening all I could think of were the good times. The time I spent with you talking the day away. The simple things.

Emily, I promise you that I had a smile on my face the entire time, and like laughter, even this eventually began to feel good and right.

I know you’ll read this. I know you’ll wonder what you should do. I can’t answer that.

I need you now more than ever, Emily. You and I have unfinished business and I think it would suit us both to settle up as soon as possible.

I’m on my way home Emily. Set the table, I’ll be staying for dinner.

With undying love,

- You know who.

Boner inspiring.

Well today I was doing some checking up on The Dark Knight and came upon a website that people had been talking about called why so serious which had a countdown as well as a note from the Joker and some cooirdinates telling people to be there at 10 AM.

what followed is one of the coolest bits of promotion and marketing I've ever seen.

A plane flew by flying a phone number (1-800-395-9646) calling it gave you a creepy recorded message from a guy forcefully reading instuctions before being shot dead.

logging onto the website you then had to answer a bunch of twisted questions using clues sent back by the people who were actually on the ground at said location.

What followed was more or less a huge scavenger hunt where people logged onto the site had to help the people in town and vice versa. the jokers helpers were there to offer clues and paint people up nice and pretty as part of the deal.




seriously, imagine seeing these guys running through the streets in search of various clues and people. That's awesome.

The site itself was filled with awesome stuff at every question or "checkpoint" like this APB from the Gotham police:



And so on.

The site was slow as fuck but it was fun to play along, and of course at the end we got a Teaser trailer (which gives me goosebumps) and this delicious image:

I am so, so, so excited for this movie that it isn't even normal.

It's funny, years ago I'd not have given a shit about a new Batman movie after being let down time and time again from the crappy sequels, but Batman Begins really was one incredible film and I have high hopes that the Dark Knight will follow that closely.

How can you go wrong? the fucking Joker is the man.

also more cool pics from the events here.

God bless the internet for being able to hype a movie that is basically a year or more from release.

eewedw

Well sir...guess I'll update.

I've noticed I actually gained some weight since i last checked (sometime around Christmas)...like nearly 20 pounds. I'm not quite a fat ass, but I've definitely got the gut thing happening, also love handles.

I don't really mind, but it is rare that I actually gain that much weight. It's happened before though, a few times, the last time I lost all of it too quickly though.

I've even got some weirdo stretch type marks to prove it. you'd think I used to be a real fat ass.

Anyway the point is I don't really care, but I'm doing my best to cut out pop and junk food. I probably eat out at least twice a week, always at James's place, so I'll tone that down.

As for exercise I'm not the type that can go to a gym or stand in a room running on a treadmill or equivalent. nor can I lift weights like a goon. I hate it. If I'm going to exercise it's gonna be jogging around the sub division or taking a nice bike ride OUTSIDE.

My brother has one of those $3,000 mountain bikes that I think I'll start putting to use. He kind of stopped using it once he got his fancy car, so why not.

Anyway those are my random thoughts.

Also oil changes. Fucking Volkswagen charging me $180 for that and tire rotation. I guess it evens out since most cars recommend every 5K, while I do it every 8. Also they use synthetic oil which is more costly but still. I like my money.

ANYWAY. see you.

Spaceship broken- parts needed.

Well this morning after work I had a pretty interesting drive home.

Nothing really happened...it was just one of those mornings where everything seems different and strange, like I'd stepped off a space shuttle and was taking my first steps on some distant planet. The first thing I saw after the door closed behind me was this:




So we've all seen rainbows I'm sure, but it's been sometime since I actually stopped to enjoy looking at one. Let alone one at 5:30 in the morning after a nice, cool rain storm. I snapped a crappy picture and was on my way.

The strange thing is, after getting in my car, finding a cd to pop in and backing out, the thing had pretty much faded completely.

Turning the corner I was met with another strange sight:



Now, believe me. A crappy, hastily taken phone camera picture from a moving vehicle does not do this justice.

The clouds were thick throughout almost the entire sky save for just above the horizon which looked as if it was on fire from some distant nuclear explosion. The sun itself was enough to almost blind me as it peeked above the buildings and hills.

Again, after I purchased my fuel and headed back the way I had come the clouds looked as if they'd covered up most of it. I was hoping to stop somewhere to get a real photo, but no dice...It just wasn't the same. And then it started POURING like a mother fucker.

The drive home remained quite surreal feeling for whatever reason.

so from about 5:30 AM to 6 I was pretty much in a trance, wondering where the hell I was at and what exactly it was that made everything feel so "off".

Thinking about it now, it just makes me realize how suddenly beautiful the world can become. It sounds dumb and silly, I know, but sometimes being there at the right moment and taking in something incredibly simple can change the rest of your day for the better.

I guess I just wish it happened more often. I'm also glad it doesn't. We take far too much for granted as it is.

Random: The sequel.

I'm sitting here watching some Live Earth coverage and it's fucking terrible. Every 30 seconds it's "okay, back to London! no! Back to Rio! OH MY GOD MADONNA IS ON SOON BACK TO LONDON FUCK"

Add to that the fact that all it really is is a celebrity jerk off-fest and you've got something that's totally not worth watching. Even if you are as bored as I am.

The other night at work the button came off my pants as I was urinating. I was quite upset as I was not wearing a belt at the time. I had to walk out of there holding my goddamn pants up with my hands.

Being the crafty guy I am I poked a hole in the little flaps where the button used to be and fastened them together with a TWIST TIE. It worked well, the only downside was having to un-twist when I had to piss again.

So my parents are in BC and I'm here alone. It's quite nice, I have to say. I've just been sitting around watching movies and messing about with my guitar(s).

Speaking of movies I have to say that the Village is a seriously good movie. Criminally underrated...in that everybody fucking hates it for some reason.

"OH GOD OVER TO NEW YORK JAMES BLUNT IS TAKING THE STAGE!1"

and then he proceeded to play some of the most annoying, whiny music I've ever heard in my entire life.

Now the Beastie Boys which aren't a hell of a lot better. Time to hang it up, you pricks.

Well I suppose I'll go play with my dogs a bit. You kids take care.

mmmm robots.

Today I went and saw Transformers with Bonjangles.

First let me say I'm no Transformers nerd and haven't really watched much of the old cartoons since I was a lad.

When the movie was first announced I knew it was going to either suck completely or be absolutely brilliant. There's really no in between for me.

Turns out it is pretty fucking awesome.

Michael Bay is a useless prick for the most part but this movie makes up for every other overly stylised piece of shit he's over made.

The story can be viewed as pretty corny if you're not into it, but hey, watching the old cartoons are pretty much the same thing. That's the way it is.

What you're really there for are watching several GIANT FUCKING ROBOTS pound and shoot the shit out of each other, and that's exactly what you get.

I had a massive boner for a good portion of the film thanks to the incredible effects and robot on robot action.

Just watching them transform is incredible.

Also if you're not into robots you also get this:



as an added bonus. Really it's a win win situation. Unless you're an anti robot bastard AND slightly gay.

Even the human parts weren't all bad, which is what I really feared.

Good shit, guys.