For Emily.

Dear Emily,

I’ve done something very stupid. I’ve let the darkest things in this world get their hands around my neck and choke the life out of me. Enough was enough and I had to do something.

Emily, you know exactly what I’m speaking about. I know you do.

Imagine if you can, Emily, three balls of tightly wound yarn sitting precariously at the top of a very large staircase. Can you do that?

Imagine, now that each ball of yarn represents something. The first is your current life, probably held together the loosest of the three. Imagine the second ball of yarn representing the life you wish you had. Emily, I imagine this ball would be quite large in the case of people like you and I.

Wrap your smart head around the fact that the third ball of yarn represents the lives of the people you know. Friends, family and even co-workers.

Now, Emily, imagine a split second containing perhaps the smallest action ever, that sends those three balls of yarn careening over the edge of the first step and then down, down, down.

Imagine, Emily, the way it must feel to look down and see the tangled mess of string you just created, how It feels to be grasping at them, trying to sort of what is what and where it belongs.

It’s only been a few hours since I set those balls of yarn rolling and I am lost completely. I feel perhaps it was a mistake, but maybe a necessary one.

I know what you’re thinking, Emily, and I can tell you that you’re only half right.

It wasn’t blind rage or frustration. You know me better than that. Or at least you always claimed to.

No.

Imagine my surprise, Emily, that while all of this was happening all I could think of were the good times. The time I spent with you talking the day away. The simple things.

Emily, I promise you that I had a smile on my face the entire time, and like laughter, even this eventually began to feel good and right.

I know you’ll read this. I know you’ll wonder what you should do. I can’t answer that.

I need you now more than ever, Emily. You and I have unfinished business and I think it would suit us both to settle up as soon as possible.

I’m on my way home Emily. Set the table, I’ll be staying for dinner.

With undying love,

- You know who.