NOT WITHOUT MY ANUS

hey guys, guess who's getting Colonoscopy!? THIS GUY!

I'll spare you most the gory details and make it short.

You may or may not remember/be aware that I have some BOWEL ISSUES that can really bother me from time to time.

I had an appointment with a specialist today (thanks to my doctor after a year of waiting and forgetting) and after a bunch of questions and discussion and he giving me the choice of:

leaving it be, trying to change my diet slightly and see how it goes

or

Get the test, get some answers/clarity and have the "ammunition" to really make changes if need be.

So we discussed it a bit and me liking aspects of both sides, really didn't know what to settle on, so he eventually said he'd make the choice for me and that I should get the test.

Obviously, nobody wants four feet of ANYTHING shoved up their ass into their intestine, but hey he made a pretty good case for it, and truly, I've had these issues for a decent amount of time now (on and off) and to save myself anymore "what the fuck? this can't be right" feelings, I guess it makes sense.

I'm not even that worked up/grossed out about it, strangely.

I guess I get knocked the fuck out and he has his way with me (wouldn't be the first time a man did that to me, EH GUYS!!!?!" for around 15 minutes and then I "recover" for an hour before someone has to drive me home, while I'm still high as shit.

Then I get a night off work, so whatever.

Anyway, that's my post for the day. I can't wait to drink 4 liters of laxative the night before and shit my brains out.

How delightfully CLEANSING

The ROID.

Trevor's post inspired me to want to write a bit about the strangeness that is Metroid: Other M.

Let me just say, I think the Metroid series is probably my most loved Nintendo games. Yes, more than Zelda. There's something about them that appeals to me greatly.

I finished it last night and overall, I had a seriously great time.

What I wanted to talk about is how I absolutely cannot understand the negativity toward this game. It's fine to have little nitpicking type issues with plot and design choices and such, but to claim the game "KILLED THE METROID SERIES" is beyond fucking absurd.

This game is a huge step in the direction I want to see ALL Nintendo franchises go. Guess what, fanboys? I WANT voice acting and cutcenes in my games. The other two "big" systems have games with this kind of production values and it's about damn time Nintendo stepped up and tried it out.

Those opinions hold true REGARDLESS of how I feel about Other M's story and voice acting. All I'm saying is that it's a step to where Nintendo should be.

Valid complaints are the controls. Using only the Wii remote does feel limiting at first, but within 10 minutes I had adapted and was LOVING the minimalistic approach. I get how some people might not, though.

I think the weakest part of the game is indeed the writing and plot elements, particularly the end where all this shit is added on in an attempt to be a "DRAMATIC REVEAL" type segment. It's not needed, and in fact, the bit you play after the credits roll, actually makes up for this shit. So make sure you do that.

That's not to say it's all bad. I don't mind emotional Samus. I don't mind Galactic Federation soldiers showing up. I don't mind the flashbacks. That's all well and good and often, quite Welcome.

Samus is an awesome character, and in my mind it's best to view this game as a sort of different take on her. If you don't like her in this game, it's not a massive character assassination. It's just different. Get over it.

Change is good. One of the few reviews I've agreed with used the word "brave" to describe this game. So true. Change is good.

If I had to pick between the Prime games and Other M I'd say the Prime games are better. They are simply masterful and are pretty damn hard to beat.

That said, I'm all for the next game in the series to play and feel and look like Other M. It's awesome being able to run around in third person and feel the speed of Samus in her suit. That's how she should be. Fast and agile. And jumping onto a dudes head and blasting him point blank in the head? BAD. ASS.

Expand and improve upon that, and develop a stronger plot (let me write it) and I think there would be even less to complain about.

But I'm sure the fanboys would latch on to whatever they can.

Summary: Nintendo fans fear change; are idiots. This game is good.

Just Give'r part two

I am still debating whether or not Fubar needs a sequel (the first is just so damn awesome that it almost doesn't need to be expanded on at all)

But, whatever, there's no fucking way I am NOT seeing this:



Trevor, we have to see this as a team just like the original.

In other movie related news I actually started a movie blog a while ago...and by "started" I mean I bought a domain, installed Word Press and then never really did anything else with it yet. Oh, except for one test post.

In the future I'll probably get it going (if someone wants to make me a header/banner image, I'd give them five bucks) and probably post the majority of my movie shit there, including reviews of random films I happen to watch.

Truth is, Movies are a huge part of my life and time and I think if you looked at all the posts on this blog, a great deal of them probably revolve around a movie (video games) and I guess a more "central" place to ramble about them might suit me.

Or maybe I'll just decide I'm too lazy to sort it out and keep rambling here. I don't know. There's always the "if you don't like it, don't read it" thought.

Best movie ever?

RUTGER FUCKING HAUER