For Emily...

Dear Emily,

I trust you received my last letter. In fact, I know you did.

I wonder how it made you feel, Emily. Did it bring back memories of all the late nights? Or all the times we fought?

I guess in the end it matters not. I know it made you feel something…and something is all I’m looking for from you.

Emily, I’ve been thinking a lot of what it means to feel happy. I’ve realized I only truly feel at peace when I’m remembering the past. I don’t particularly enjoy the prospect of the future. I certainly don’t enjoy fighting this battle just to see another empty sunrise surrounded by strangers who resemble robots more than human beings.

I need more than that.

The truth, Emily, is that you and I are more alike than you ever admitted. I’ve heard them say otherwise and I’ve heard you agree, but you don’t know the truth. Not yet.

When we first met you promised you would help me. You promised you could fix me and I wonder how hard you really tried. There are things in this life that cannot be explained and one of them is why you felt the need to walk away from me.

I was held down and forced to choke on insurmountable amounts of bullshit, all under your grand plan. You watched it happen and you know it hurt me.

I know all about you, Emily. I know where you came from. I know how long it has taken you to get here. You see…I know what you know.

But you don’t know everything. That much I can promise to you, Emily.

I’m not happy with what I’ve become, but at least it’s all for an ideal. I know what I want and I know I will have it.

Emily, I promise that the next time I rinse the red off of my hands that you and I will be a little closer…a little more drawn together.

Time is closing in and I assure you, that in due time, this great distance between us will be no more than a 7 inch blade, doctor.

I’ll laugh. You’ll smile. Everything will be right.

Always and forever,

- You know who.

/face palm

I just decided why Facebook pisses me off so much (aside from it being slow)

looking at peoples pages is like walking into a kindergarten classroom....a classroom for retarded kids.

No, really, there's these little "my family" drawings with stupid stick figures and tons of other dumb pictures, add to that little activities which could only really entertain a retard and it's all so clear.

And it's like you're the parent of a retarded kid smiling and taking it all in but wondering to yourself "what the unholy fuck is wrong with you?!"

but then you remember and say to yourself "OH YEAH, YOU'RE RETARDED"

thanks for not letting me forget it, people.

I don't know.

I guess it rained last night while I was at work, and then froze.

It was a bit slick on the way home, but you know what's worse? the fucking idiot sand trucks that leave piles of the shit on the fucking highway.

Well, Super Mario Galaxy is officially the game of the year. MAYBE THE BEST GAME EVER. My jaw dropped so many times in the first hour, I swear. It's fucking magic.

Then I got to the first bowser level and it was then that I decided this is my favourite Mario game of all time.

Let's be honest, Mario Sunshine was solid, but lacking the special something that the N64 game had. Galaxy, though, feels like a sequel to the N64 game. It just has that feeling. Perhaps because there is no fucking water pack to have to worry about. I don't know.

The soundtrack is incredible too, orchestrated versions of old classics and killer new tunes as well. Plenty of goosebumps from that alone.

So go get this game unless you hate fun. Or are a Halo playing FAGGOT.

This game is why people don't outgrow Nintendo despite said Halo faggots claiming it's for kids. Fucking incredible.

In other news my cell phone crapped out on me again. Same problem. It has been sent away so I have a loaner which is a piece of shit. I probably won't use it at all.

Telus sucks because they won't just give me a new phone despite it having the same problem as before. Oh well, it's under warranty so it's free. Just a pain in the ass. If it fucks up again I will probably just smash it and go pay got a new one myself.

Well I'm off to play a bit of WoW followed by some Mario.

Stay out of trouble, kids.

Leaving.

I've been feeling like shit lately.

you know, in more ways than one.

I won't get into it, because this isn't going to be one of those blog posts.

I just wanted to mention how weird it is that anytime I'm in some sort of mental funk/depression/whatever I get thousands of ideas swirling in my head to write about.

I wrote nearly 7 pages just now, all of which I came up with while at work (and so had to store them in my head until I got home) and it feels awesome.

It makes me wonder how I'd do it if I was a real writer.

I'd be on fucking antidepressants within a year or something.

luckily, as far as hobbies go, it works out well to get it all out in this way.

So, the zombie story has become more than a zombie story...as in, it's just going to be long. Certainly the lengthiest thing I've ever written. Which means it's either going to be a long ass piece of shit or something real cool. (not that it matters) either way, it now has its legs

I don't think I could ever write a novel. I'd much rather kill everyone off real quick and be done with it, but so far this is a little different and I'm enjoying it.

I think perhaps I might have also been inspired to get back at it thanks to Geeeeeoofofs latest posts.

So. That's it.

Goodbye.