Christmas post. With other thoughts.

Before I start, I'm well aware that I make a post around this time every year where I go on about how I am not in the "Christmas spirit" and the like. So if you want to skip ahead, go for it.

This year is unlike any others before it though.

I guess the simple truth is that my family has had a terrible bit of luck with the fire and honestly, Christmas and gifts and decorating the house all feel so immensely trivial, that I cannot even begin to describe it.

There are those who will say "well, you have to have a Christmas!" but I don't buy it.

I'm sure we'll all still do the getting together with the extended family bit, and for that I am thankful.

They've also had a shitty run of things lately.

My Grandma (dad's mom) had a real bad heart attack weeks ago. She nearly died and if I'm not mistaken, she's still in the hospital. No serious complications, but, well, she's old and they need to be careful, I guess.

A week or so later my Grandpa (Mom's dad) fell and broke his ankle. Being his age, it's not something to just sort of roll your eyes at.

And of course there was the terrible car accident my uncles and aunts got in during the summer.

So perhaps now more than ever, Christmas should simply be about appreciating the people around me since one day, they just won't be here.

And I'm not getting sappy. I'm not a people person full of love for everyone, I'm just saying I see these people so rarely, that it might actually feel good this time.

Nobody around here has asked each other what we desire for Christmas. Well, my mom brought it up yesterday and I simply stared at her because those words strung together sounded alien to me.

I didn't answer her.

So no. It doesn't feel like the Christmas season to me in the least, and I'm not sure that it will.

And you know, I'm not at all bothered by it.

Related:

There's so much talk over the commercialism of Christmas from everyone and the media...but you know what? nobody does shit about it. The people ranting and raving on the news (I just watched a piece about this) about how it is all getting out of hand are the same ones who go out shopping, filling the malls and spending wads of cash (credit cards, actually) every damn year. I guarantee it.

Try changing your own Christmas habits first before you try and fix everyone else.

Or shut up and keep spending the money. That is what Christmas is about, after all.

On a more playful and disgusting note, I am really wishing I could shave my retarded looking beard. I know I COULD, but I've gone this long and it's just a stupid thing that I don't want to wimp out on.

Friends and family and people who know me sort of get it, but sometimes I wonder what strangers must think of a guy who has a beard but can't really grow one and has no business trying. They might think I'm retarded. I don't really mind.

Here I am in deep thought wondering when the madness will end. Contrast makes things more dramatic, obviously.

Goodnight moon.