The first annual (plz send more) Gum Review.

I love gum and consider myself a gum connoisseur so I an going to review some strange and interesting gums I tasted for the first time in my life.

The scale is 1 = something real gross. Like chewing on puke if it were possible, and 10 = THRILLS, the motherfucking soap gum... AKA the king of gum.

Here goes.

Skittles Xtreme fruit bubble gum:
This gum starts off very soft but has that trademark hard shell that a regular skittle has. The flavours are good but seem a little weak tasting, so it's best to take a bunch at once. The flavour does not last that long, but the consistency of the gum even when the flavour is gone is nice.

7/10

Bubble toons Ninja turtle gum:
comes in little pellets like juicy fruit. The real kick here is that the pellets have pictures of your favourite ninja turtles on them! and they are edible!
sort of, anyway. It's like a little stuck on piece of plastic. When you chew the gum it comes off in pieces and remains in your mouth as it seperates from the actual gum. It's pretty gross and I found myself spitting out chunks of white shit that looked like rubber. I'm sure they would have all dissolved, but it seemed WRONG. The gum itself is a delightful strawberry flavour which is good and the consistency is nice. But still.

4/10

Juicy fruit sours tropikiwi kick:
nice and hard at first but quickly becomes soft. The flavour is nice but not really that sour. Kind of tangy I guess. I don't eat kiwi so I have no idea if this is accurate, but it tastes like any "green" flavoured gum I've ever had.

6/10

fresh blast super energizing gum:
"formulated to support an actice lifestyle" it is "powered" by guarana and taurine and as such, it fucking smells. Like redbull but a little worse. Oh, hey, look at that it tastes like redbull too!
flavour runs out VERY quickly and you're left with a tasteless piece of rubber in your mouth, but it is a decent chew.

6/10

Angry Scotsman chewing gum:
"SO MINTY FRESH IT'LL PUT THE STARCH BACK IN YER KILT!"
fuck, william Wallace, that is an outrageous claim to make.
The first few bites down release a torrent of minty goodness, so minty you want to spit it out, but then, miraculously it becomes sweet and delicious. A perfect balance you could call it, and the minty flavour stays with you (as most minty gum does). the consistency is a little lacking, too soft for me, but this is a quality gum

8/10

wrigley's Orbit:
Again, a delicious mix of minty and sweet in stick form (!) it does indeed give you the fresh feeling it claims to do. A quality gum, my friends.

8/10

So there you have it. You just wasted a few moments of your life and you'll never get them back! haha.

Thanks to Stephanie for sending the strange and exotic gums from a far off land where gum grows on trees and the people are also made of gum, and also their underpants. And their dogs.

I like to call it GUM ISLE.