Every light.
Alright, I've been putting off this post for a while. In fact I've started it a few times and just stopped because it ended up sounding too dramatic or something.
I don't know what it is, but for the past month or so (maybe longer) I've been feeling so completely "down" that it sometimes feels like too much.
I don't know. I feel so withdrawn and absolutely don't feel like doing anything that involves going out or seeing friends or any of that shit. I have a hard time getting motivated to even leave the house to run errands and whatnot.
Everything feels like a chore. A chore that I want to put off forever.
I don't know that I'm actually depressed in the way that I feel hopeless or anything, but I guess it is a form of depression.
It's not completely new to me. I just can't get over it or shake it like I have before.
It HAS happened in winter a lot. I guess because in part, it's just a pain in the ass to go anywhere or do anything during these months...it just feels like more than that, though.
I'd make a joke about how is probably is some form of Seasonal affective disorder, but I don't know, maybe it actually is.
I'm no doctor, and I don't make habits of diagnosing myself using online tools (seriously. those people drive me nuts) but all of that information is pretty interesting to me and a lot of it fits like a glove.
It's not constant, though. I have moments of real happiness and joy, but most of the time it is easier to just pretend or not care altogether and just sit here.
So yeah, like I said, not trying to sound overly dramatic, but that's what has been up with me lately.
And no, it has nothing to do with it being the holiday season or Molson being gone. It's not depression like that. I'm not sure I'm even actively sad. I'm just...unmotivated and would rather be left alone and pretend nobody else exists.
Which I guess is kind of sad in itself, so...
I don't know. Whatever.
On top of that I've got caught myself a seriously awful cold that seems to be fucking up my entire body, because I just feel like a bag of shit and am tired of coughing up neon green and blowing neon yellow out my nose every 3.25 seconds.
I also haven't had a real sleep in three days or so. I don't know what the fuck that is about. Maybe it's just because I wake up coughing or stuffed up and just can't get back to sleep.
Fucking bullshit. Fuck winter.
I don't know what it is, but for the past month or so (maybe longer) I've been feeling so completely "down" that it sometimes feels like too much.
I don't know. I feel so withdrawn and absolutely don't feel like doing anything that involves going out or seeing friends or any of that shit. I have a hard time getting motivated to even leave the house to run errands and whatnot.
Everything feels like a chore. A chore that I want to put off forever.
I don't know that I'm actually depressed in the way that I feel hopeless or anything, but I guess it is a form of depression.
It's not completely new to me. I just can't get over it or shake it like I have before.
It HAS happened in winter a lot. I guess because in part, it's just a pain in the ass to go anywhere or do anything during these months...it just feels like more than that, though.
I'd make a joke about how is probably is some form of Seasonal affective disorder, but I don't know, maybe it actually is.
I'm no doctor, and I don't make habits of diagnosing myself using online tools (seriously. those people drive me nuts) but all of that information is pretty interesting to me and a lot of it fits like a glove.
It's not constant, though. I have moments of real happiness and joy, but most of the time it is easier to just pretend or not care altogether and just sit here.
So yeah, like I said, not trying to sound overly dramatic, but that's what has been up with me lately.
And no, it has nothing to do with it being the holiday season or Molson being gone. It's not depression like that. I'm not sure I'm even actively sad. I'm just...unmotivated and would rather be left alone and pretend nobody else exists.
Which I guess is kind of sad in itself, so...
I don't know. Whatever.
On top of that I've got caught myself a seriously awful cold that seems to be fucking up my entire body, because I just feel like a bag of shit and am tired of coughing up neon green and blowing neon yellow out my nose every 3.25 seconds.
I also haven't had a real sleep in three days or so. I don't know what the fuck that is about. Maybe it's just because I wake up coughing or stuffed up and just can't get back to sleep.
Fucking bullshit. Fuck winter.
posted by D. at 4:40 p.m.
1 Comments:
sucks man, i know how you feel though i get that from time to time. Best thing though is man up and actually do something. Go out, even if you don't want to. Most of the time you will appreciate the going out part after you fight the being down stuff.
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