Molson
Well,
yesterday we had a vet come out and put Molson to sleep.
The past few days had been very hard on him. The day where we got that huge snowfall, he was actually laying outside on the sidewalk, and wouldn't get up for anything. Eventually he seriously just looked like a snow drift, so I forced him up and inside the garage and dried him off the best I could with a towel and we forced him to spend the day and night in there (which he hated). He was certainly having trouble standing and even more trouble walking.
The next day we let him out because he goes mental whenever he's kept inside ANYTHING and he went out and laid under the tree he always used to lay under and proceeded to spend the entire day there, not moving or getting up when he saw someone.
It was hard to watch. I really do think that he knew his time was up and simply wanted to be there, but of course I can't say for sure.
When night came my mom begged me to get him up and into the basement so he could at least lay in the boot room and be warm/away from the coyotes that are everywhere.
I went out there and woke him up (and seriously thought he was gone before I touched him) and tried to stand him up. Eventually I did and he took a few steps and just fell down, which I'll never forget because it was one of the saddest things I've seen. So I scooped him up in my arms and carried him awkwardly the rest of the way and inside.
He remained confused and scared and obviously wanting outside for a decent while but eventually just went to sleep and pretty much slept for the next few days, only drinking water, until we could find someone to come out and put him to sleep, since the choice was made that while we didn't think he was in terrible pain or suffering, that he could not make it through another winter, and unlike the past few times where he had bad stretch of health, he wouldn't be getting "better".
I know this might come off as dumb and perhaps really trivial to some people, but it wasn't easy. He was part of my life for 15 years, human or dog or any other animal, that is a long time to know someone and bond with them. To grow up with them. That's LIFE and it's remarkable.
I know people have gone though this and will continue to go through it, but I never have. He was the first dog our family ever had.
I watched them do it, and as soon as they forced him to lay down so that they could shave a bit of fur off his leg for the needle, I seriously just lost my composure and had to leave the room. I expected it to be sad, but mostly after the fact.
Call me whatever you wish, I wept in my room wishing it didn't have to happen and angry that I knew it did have to.
I went back out though and watched the rest. They sedated him first and then gave him the other dose and then he was just...gone.
Peaceful and the right thing to do, I'm sure, but that doesn't make it any less heartbreaking.
I stayed awake to see it happen and to be there for my mom especially who I knew would take it very hard.
I guess it's comforting knowing he stayed in good health for as long as he did, and that he was loved the entire time. Quite remarkable how tough and stubborn he was, even when deaf and getting blind.
What an awesome dog.
yesterday we had a vet come out and put Molson to sleep.
The past few days had been very hard on him. The day where we got that huge snowfall, he was actually laying outside on the sidewalk, and wouldn't get up for anything. Eventually he seriously just looked like a snow drift, so I forced him up and inside the garage and dried him off the best I could with a towel and we forced him to spend the day and night in there (which he hated). He was certainly having trouble standing and even more trouble walking.
The next day we let him out because he goes mental whenever he's kept inside ANYTHING and he went out and laid under the tree he always used to lay under and proceeded to spend the entire day there, not moving or getting up when he saw someone.
It was hard to watch. I really do think that he knew his time was up and simply wanted to be there, but of course I can't say for sure.
When night came my mom begged me to get him up and into the basement so he could at least lay in the boot room and be warm/away from the coyotes that are everywhere.
I went out there and woke him up (and seriously thought he was gone before I touched him) and tried to stand him up. Eventually I did and he took a few steps and just fell down, which I'll never forget because it was one of the saddest things I've seen. So I scooped him up in my arms and carried him awkwardly the rest of the way and inside.
He remained confused and scared and obviously wanting outside for a decent while but eventually just went to sleep and pretty much slept for the next few days, only drinking water, until we could find someone to come out and put him to sleep, since the choice was made that while we didn't think he was in terrible pain or suffering, that he could not make it through another winter, and unlike the past few times where he had bad stretch of health, he wouldn't be getting "better".
I know this might come off as dumb and perhaps really trivial to some people, but it wasn't easy. He was part of my life for 15 years, human or dog or any other animal, that is a long time to know someone and bond with them. To grow up with them. That's LIFE and it's remarkable.
I know people have gone though this and will continue to go through it, but I never have. He was the first dog our family ever had.
I watched them do it, and as soon as they forced him to lay down so that they could shave a bit of fur off his leg for the needle, I seriously just lost my composure and had to leave the room. I expected it to be sad, but mostly after the fact.
Call me whatever you wish, I wept in my room wishing it didn't have to happen and angry that I knew it did have to.
I went back out though and watched the rest. They sedated him first and then gave him the other dose and then he was just...gone.
Peaceful and the right thing to do, I'm sure, but that doesn't make it any less heartbreaking.
I stayed awake to see it happen and to be there for my mom especially who I knew would take it very hard.
I guess it's comforting knowing he stayed in good health for as long as he did, and that he was loved the entire time. Quite remarkable how tough and stubborn he was, even when deaf and getting blind.
What an awesome dog.
posted by D. at 6:17 a.m.
4 Comments:
That shit is hard as hell. Your right they become part of your family, it like loosing a family member.
Its even harder when you have to make the decision for them.
My parents dog kuddles had a heart attack last may and passed on. Even though i haven't lived at home in years, i still cried like a baby. I don't remember life without her.
Just know hes in a better place.
He lived an awesomely long life, that's for sure. Fifteen years...
:(
hehe...I remember this funny picture you once showed me of him, where he looks almost psycho goin' after your brother.
You no doubt have some very good memories.
<3
This post totally made me cry :( Sorry you had to go through that, it was great you could be there for Molson and your Mom for that difficult time....
I've read through this about three times now.
I don't really have anything to say. It would all be pretty much meaningless.
Fifteen years is a hard space to fill. You showed remarkable courage being there for the injection though. I couldn't have done it. When Sarge's day comes, I don't know if I'll be able to watch.
Dogs communicate through their faces and actions. For it all to just... go so still. I can't even handle it in theory, let alone in reality. Fuck man. Just... fuck.
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