Dear, _____ with love.

U2: give it up already. What, do you guys make a new album every week?

Collective Soul: Please take another extended hiatus. ASAP.

Matchbox 20: learn how to not make all your songs sound the same. Also, make them not suck, please.

50 Cent: just stop.

Blink 182: you guys are not funny. Immature jokes in songs are not funny. stop making music.

Britney Spears: Stop faking it. Learn how to sing or just become a (horrible) actress. I'm amazed people pay to see you live.

Barenaked ladies: "catchy" stupid sounding songs are overdone. Try something different next time. Or better yet, don't try at all.

your friend,
-Dan